Truly Happy at Heart...

I thought I should record this date down..not today as I am typing now, but yesterday, the 11th November. I woke up in the morning like usual, and hopped on a bus to work..everything was ordinary..weather wasn't great either. However, I was feeling truly happy..the sort of happiness you feel when you are in love and that you don't really understand why you are smiling. I was sitting in the bus, looking out from the windows and listening to some music...smiling silly. I paused once in awhile in between those feelings just to question myself why am I feeling sooo...'contented'?

After awhile, I thought to myself...stop analysing..just BE....and I did. I shared what I felt yesterday with a few friends, and I concluded that, maybe it's just the current situation where I am now, I am happy with my job, happy with the time I have for myself, happy with the friends I made, not earning alot but enough to enjoy simple nice things in life..am not chasing anything...

Moments like this don't come everyday..I hope everyone would be able to experience this feeling at least once in their life...oh well..next, I wanna be in love...:p

Innocence of a Child

It's autumn..everywhere is yellow, orange and red...very dreamlike...I love autumn. If only autumn days are as long as those in summer...it would be perfect!

So..I have been around little children for the last two months..from 14 months old to 7 years old...what I have learnt and truly enjoyed from them is their innocence..To see the face of a 3 year old lighted up, and then run to you and hug you close..is the most loving moment you can feel. At least it is for me...The happiness was so pure..

Exchanging conversations with them is very self reflective sometimes...the "why is this..why is that" period of a child is really interesting. At some point, I don't know how to answer them, just have to tell them, the truth that I don't know..

So, what have I been doing the last 2 mths...I have started my French course..it's boring..but I just have to endure n try to learn as much..I have also visited Oxford, Bournemouth and Leamington Spa. Oxford is interesting, Bournemouth is boring and disappointing whilst Leamington seems quiet and nice.

Hope to go somewhere end of year..can't believe I have less than 7 mths in London..got to make the best out of every minute!!!!!!!!

A Great Month of August!

My official last day in Starbucks was in July. So, I took the month of August to travel...it was quite a journey...even though I did it in 4 blocks. It wasn't the type of trip where I do as many in as short a period of time possible. In fact, I would say it's quite luxurious..haha..other than the fact, we walked alot, stayed in hostels and have bread/salami for almost every meal....for
one month!!!! YEAH...I think I have had enough bread, salami and cheese breakfast which would last me for a year!

So, where did I go..chronologically..Budapest, Vienna, Czech Republic, Hamburg, Berlin, Munich/Blackforest and last stop Turkey. Kinda like 3 days in each city. For some, 3 days were a little too long...we sort of finished most of the cities in one n a half day. Of all the cities, I didn't enjoy Budapest and Vienna. Cappadocia in Turkey was really interesting! Istanbul would be memorable as I celebrated my birthday there with 5 other friends..I mean..how often can that happen? It was a good one!! :) That aside, Istanbul felt like home..the weather and people...

I came back to London on the 1st of September...had a holiday withdrawal. sigh...well, it was just money going out.. tho...

My other aspects of life..been thinking alot lately, trying to make the best of my time here. I have just signed up for a french course..Hopefully it will turn out to be a good decision...as it costs me some money..

I have also recently taking chances...one example would be I actually replied to an ad on a website..under the heading looking for friends..LOL...to be honest, I didn't intend to find a friend through a website, I mean there are a lot of weird people out there. I replied to one because of the heading..it was out of pure curiosity and feeling cheeky ..but the reply from the person sounded sane..so I decided to keep in touch...who knows..there are still goodness n nice people out there..will see how this goes..

I am also currently thinking of getting my masters..just for paper qualification sake..but have to do more research in terms of funding...

Autumn is beautiful now in London..temperature is good..enjoy the sun while I can..hehe

The clock is ticking..time if flying ...do my best n hope for the best!

UNTITLED

Across the dark blue sky,
A flash of light so bright,
Like a fallen star,
You came into my life.

From the bottom of my heart...I smile,
Thinking of you I so adore,
Wishing that we'd met earlier,
When there's a chance of something more.

Hiding under a cupid's spell,
I can't help but to wonder,
Because we get along so well,
Could there be a chance of us together?



For you whom I can only dream,
Because of you I am inspired...
At heart I wish you knew.

1 year, 1 month and 3 days....

Yup...It has been that long...since I reached London Heathrow last year with just two luggages...I must admit that this venture must be one of the bravest decisions which I have made in my life for myself...and now I can say, I don't regret it...

I am currently in between jobs, in a less refined phrase..well, m jobless....:( Yups..no income, just outcome...It is a good break from all the different kind of jobs I have been taking on...and FINALLY I am about the enjoy the fruits....:) As much as I am looking forward to it, I am also quite scared of it..looking at my schedules..haha...but it's all good. I haven't really have a day of nothing-to-do day ever since I stopped work, which in a way it's a good thing..I truly enjoy keeping myself occupied and feeling "important"...

So, I am going to travel quite a bit in August which is one of the main reasons I came over to England. After August, one of my resolutions for this year will be accomplished!! woo hoooo....at least 6 countries..:p I am going to be broke too,..this must be the most expensive birthday gift to myself so far in my life!

Nothing really much have happened since my last update..really. I cut my hair just 3 days ago...A haircut in London generally costs about GBP30 to GBP50. I certainly can't afford it...so I went for the GBP5 student cut by the Vidal Sassoon Academy..it has been recommended by quite a few ppl..so I decided to go for it. It is truly just GBP5, but I spent about 3 hours plus sitting on the chair, just for a simple trim n reshape..sigh...well, I guess when you don't pay the price, you pay with your patience. It was good though, I am happy with it.

On other aspects of my life, hmm...well, I went for lunch with a new friend...it's worth mentioning because I had a great lunch company. :) oh well...yeah..I am smitten..I must admit..but I hope it passes....sighhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Recently too, I got a text from a friend saying that a very adored director, Yasmin Ahmad has left us..I was truly shocked by the news..and still is. It is a BIG loss to the film industry in Malaysia and to us who has known her as a friend, we will certainly miss her. Life is way too unexpected...You will never know what comes next...so, cherish today and live your best!! For those whom I have met along the way so far, we met for a reason...you have made a mark in my life..thank you! :)

This pic is taken after two days...the haircut looks much better when I walked out of the place..hehe

Almost A Year...:)

It's HOT!! Yes, I can't believe it myself..saying that in London...although if I say that outloud in a park I would probably screamed at...:p

The days are getting longer..weather getting hotter...it's SUMMER! that also marks my one year in London...it truly flew by, but if I were to sit down and write all the things I did in the last one year, it would make me smile..I had travelled quite a bit and met a lot of nice people..some I believe would be a friend for a long time...

The recent loss of my aunt made me realise that we will leave this world one day! So, while we are still here, make the best out of everyday. I have been working really hard, juggling a few jobs..trying to make as much as I can so that I can see and do more before leaving this country. Some of the things I did in the last two weeks or so include going for "Wicked" the musical which I truly enjoyed, made a road trip to Lake District and a one day trip to Bath, Salisbury and Stonehenge. I have also actively met up with group of strangers and trying to make new friends...

So, what else is keeping me alive or should I say...smiling...:p I wish I can say I met someone special...but unfortunately NO!! But I do meet an almost perfect man...which make me believe that there are still hope out there..!! Lets see...he is hardworking, quite good looking, non-smoker/clubber, wanna build a family, friendly, good dressing sense, loving father...sighhh....

And she has left...for good...

It has been weird the last few days...I tried preparing myself mentally, and yet I couldn't...Everytime my phone receives an sms, I was worried that it's a msg from my mum telling me the bad news..but up to this morning, I never receive any msg from my mum.

I knew they are bringing her home today, Thursday morning in Penang. When I went to bed last night, I was mentally prepared to receive a sms when I wake up this morning. But I did not. So, on the bus to work, I called home to ask. I heard my mum's voice on the other side, "Lu ei 3-ee bo liou"....I didn't know what to say..but just asked if she made it home before leaving us..and mum said, "Yes, she did".."She passed away after about 10 minutes.."

I wrote a poem for her..as I really can't think of anything else which I could do. This poem would be "given" to her by my cousin on my behalf.

My dearest 3-ee,
Am really sad that you've left us,
That I couldn't bid farewell,
That I couldn't remember the last we spoke,
Or the last time I held you close.

I would truly like you to know,
That you will always be remembered,
As the aunt who brought me up,
Whom I shared my secrets with,
Whom I laughed and cried with,
Whom I've loved and will always do.

You will be missed dearly,
Today and every day to come,
In my heart, I will always love you,
For you are my one and only 3-ee.

Rest in peace.

With love, Ah Na.

I can't exactly describe the feeling I am feeling right now..it's a mixture of everything..:( I hope she is in a better place..a place where she is not hurting or in pain anymore...

The sunshine..the blooming flowers..O so pretty..

A month has passed by once again...One month and lots had happened, so I can't really complain...

I attended a very good friend's wedding in a land they call Down Under..:p It's a trip planned since many months ago...and is finally over. I spent 2 weeks with my very good friends in Brisbane, Melbourne and Perth...just being us..driving around..and catching up...It's not an easy trip, very exhausting..but fulfilling...

So, about the wedding...Yeah, primarily the trip is for Deanna, the bride. She asked me to be her bridesmaid even before I have the idea of coming to London and I kept my promise. It was quite an adventure for all of us to plan the bridesmaids' gowns and etc because the 3 of us are at 3 different continent! The bride, myself and the other bridesmaid..but we made it!! The wedding would be the first wedding of a very close friend which I have attended so far. It's was very touching..she had hers very personal, only with those who truly care...from the ceremony to the reception, everything was well planned and pretty. ooo...I have to share these 2 quotes which I learnt from my trip.

1. "LOVE IS A DECISION."

2. From the groom's dad to the groom. "When you are wrong, just admit it. When you are right,
just shut up."

After the Australia trip, I came back to London. WOW...What a change in 2 weeks..the day is so much longer now.., weather is good despite the rain and the blooming flowers! It's good to be home. :) After about 9 days, I left again to Amsterdam. Amsterdam is very eye-opening. I managed to visit the House of Anne Frank, Keukenhof garden and well the famous red light district. The coffee shops and the sex toys are ..just totally in a category on its own. And yeah..I had a "vanilla muffin" which didn't quite give me anything else other than blood shot eyes. Out of my 3 days trip, I managed to go to Leiden and also Rotterdam for a day. Leiden is boring while Rotterdam is just another city with skyscrapers.

Oh well, back to work. Times are really bad here..every sector are affected by the credit crunch. I also kinda lost my chinese takeaway job cos they are having very quiet times and don't really need an extra hand. sighhhh...

Anyway, here are some pics..I have uploaded more in my facebook.

At Keukenhof...

The red light district..

With the bride and groom...

At Cottlestoe sunset..supposed to be one of the best in the world..

At the 12 Apostles...

Since last update...

It's been tougher and tougher for me to find the time to write, to rest or just being...I guess that's cos I have to juggle 3 to 4 jobs in a week...which could sometimes means waking up at 4.40am and work till 10.30pm. Yeah..I work hard...but I also intend to play hard..I deserve every single penny that I earn...Every week must do "something"..anything really..whether it's a theatre, a movie or a trip or even clubbing...

Since my last update, lots have happened. I went to Eastbourne for a day trip with 4 other friends. It was my first road trip and my first visit to the English Channel. Eastbourne is like one of my friends said, "It's like a town stucked in time!" She is right...everything seems extra slow there..people walk at a slower pace..nothing seems to be in rush..which is really good for me. It really reminded me of the joy of simple living...almost 360 degree as compared to life in London. There is nothing much in Eastbourne, but the visit to Beachy Head for the Seven Sisters is well worth the journey! I was truly amazed by the wonders of nature when I was standing there, feeling the chilly breeze brushing my cheeks with the towering white cliffs and sound of the wave hitting the endless stoney beach...I felt so small as a human and humbled by the grandeur of the natural world. Neither the highest building nor the biggest man-made pool can ever give u the same feeling...

So, I also finally made a trip to Richmond..It's just about 30 minutes from London zone 1 but it's soooo different..in a good way. I wished it didn't rain that day though, which has certainly made my trip much shorter than intended. Liked what I saw for the brief few hours I was there, just walking with Chew Ping and Eow..so, will definitely make another trip there ..hopefully better luck in weather next time.

I also had my first big screen cinematic experience for the 1st time in London in the last 8 months. There was a double bill promotion in Riverside Studios for "Slumdog Millionaire" and "Kite Runner" for gbp7.50. I decided to go for it because I truly wanted to watch Slumdog Millionaire. It was a nice small independent theatre and I am glad I treated myself for the movie night. Although I have seen "Kite Runner", I still teared...almost from beginning to end...lol....as for "Slumdog Millionaire", I really enjoyed it...

Life's short...work hard, play hard..:)

Paris...the city of love

I have just read a friend's article about everlasting love. It touches me dearly...as it reflects alot on my life. Love has always been a very simple yet a complicated aspect of life, which in many ways makes it wonderful.

Since we are on the topic of love, I would like to write about the city of love which I have just recently visited...PARIS. I managed to go for a 4 days budget trip to Paris recently. It was a full 4 days of walking..tiring but great! I visited most of the tourist attractions; Le Louvre, Musee D'Orsay, Arc de Triomphe, Versailles, Pompidou and a few more...but the one which I truly enjoyed was the visit to Sacre Couer, Montmartre. In my opinion, it is nicer than Notre Dame. I wouldn't be able to describe in words the feeling I felt when I was there, so I decided to immortalize the moment in a video form. Below is a short clip of the place, the crowd and the atmosphere while I was standing in front of Sacre Couer.

So, of course I went to the famous Eiffel Tower. Only went to the 2nd level as me and my friends thought we could climb up to the 3rd, but unfortunately, it was closed at the time we were there. The view from the top is amazing....I mean, I wish I was there with someone special. Cliche as it may sound but it does somehow gives you the feeling of being loved...Oh well...sighh

Anyway, February is scarily coming to an end. I don't know how it passes by..seriously. My everyday motto now is "Must do something every week..Anything...".This week, I went for a play at The New Players Theatre called "The Vagina Monologue". I went partly because a friend's friend were in it and I would like to meet her. Yeah, Vagina Monologue is all about vaginas...:p No hidden meanings whatsoever...It has got the word in almost every sentence. It talks about vaginas through the eyes of an old lady, a lesbian, a to-be mum, a normal female, a victim of rape and etc.

I am at a place where I need to make decisions and I really hate it. I hate making decisions...but I guess that's what living is all about.

On another note, my sis just told me this morning that one of my mum's friend's daughter passed away in a tragic accident. She's just 19 years old..It further reminds me of how short our life is and that it can be taken away from us anytime...

This blog entry is really fragmented. I write as how my brain works. I am that random...lol..

White Chinese New Year!!!

I was complaining about the weather the entire day since the time I stepped out from my house to work this morning..but at about 8pm, I stopped! It started snowing heavily when me and my friends were walking home...It was soooo beautiful...and all of a sudden, the freezing day out was all worth it!!

It's already the 7th day of CNY today but there's a huge celebration in Chinatown. My friends and I decided to join the fun..although we were warned that it's going to be crowded..Anyway, after work, I went at abt 2pm. Nothing much, some lion dance and according to Chew Ping, it's a baby compared to what we have in Malaysia. So, we went to Trafalgar Square to see some performances, as Kai Ling puts it, she heard some cheesy sounding Chinese songs while walking past earlier. It was well, nothing great...and due to the freezing weather, we (myself, Chew Ping, Kai Ling and Yean) decided to go for coffee..an excuse to be indoor really...ended up at Portrait Gallery's cafe. From the cafe, we get a very pretty view of London city. Spent some time there just chit chatting and getting defrosted...

So, Cheyenne called and told us that there will be some fireworks at abt 6pm at Leicester Square. We left the cafe when they were closing and made our way to the square. The fireworks were what I would call "fireworks war"..it just went on and on and on without much design whatsoever..but I really like how "chaotic" it is...hehe..at last, I saw some fireworks for the new year!!! since I missed the last new year countdown by being at the wrong bridge...

After the fireworks, we went to a small pub near Seven Dials for a drink and to warm up..It's a very nice place..Decided to leave at abt 8pm..and as we stepped out of the pub, we stood there and just admire the falling snow...today, 1st of February 2009 is officially my first day experiencing the continuous falling snow...It's so so wonderful..It's so romantic..I could fall in love with anyone at that moment..(yeah, I am pretty idealistic)..and for that reason, the journey home was simply breathtaking...

I cannot quite explain the feeling I feel by just watching the snow falling, so I decided to record it and share it with you guys and hopefully, you could feel what I am feeling right now as I am typing. It is so calming, beautiful and made you feel loved at the same time reflective..so serene and peaceful...

This is the view from my room window..I just sat there quietly..and enjoyed the feeling...

Okie, below is the video I took when I was typing this blog half way, and Chew Ping (my housemate) came down and said...wanna go out? We wanted to do this earlier but the snow kinda stopped..so, we thought, "Let's just go to sleep" but since she couldn't sleep, so yeah..why not? Let's do it!!!!! lol...

I wanted to post some pics of the CNY celebration but it's not that interesting anyway..maybe next entry...:)

New friends, new family...

I just came back from meeting two new friends (Mikey and Pandora)...one of them I have met twice, while the other one it was our first meeting. I am soooo happy that the dinner happened..though I didn't eat anything.

How do u know if you are going to get along with these new friends or not..you will know when it's your first meeting and all you did was lots of laughters! We said hie, and then started talking and talking and talking..it almost as if we have been friends for a long time. I didn't had to think of what I was going to say next cos I felt so comfortable to be myself..

To be alone in another country, one needs to build a new family. This family is made out of the new friendship you make with people you meet. I have been sooo blessed to have met so many people I can call family.

On another note, I worked on a surprise 60th birthday party event recently. The event was attended by 80 people, all gathered in a hall and when the birthday lady walked in with her husband, everyone sang the birthday song...It was wonderful...the feeling of friendship and love..The husband gave a speech about how they met and how amazing the wife is as a wife, mother and grandmother. I was so touched and nearly teared. I really hope one day, when I m old, I will still be surrounded by all my friends whom I love and who love me.

2009 so far...

I must say, I am quite proud of myself...lol..cos I have actually been upkeeping my resolutions in the past 2 weeks of 2009!

I went to Belgium on the 2nd of Jan..It was a truly spontaneous trip!! The idea was suggested by my friend Chew Ping on the 30th Dec..and we just went ahead and book it the next day! 3 cities in 3 days...walking around with maps in cities where we can't even pronounce the street names..just know there's lots of laans..and straat...:p

A quick run down of my trip..

Brussels

- Went to check out all the famous chocolatiers..yeah, I have educated myself in that way, the three top chocolate

brands are supposed to be Pierre Marcolini, Neuhaus and Wittamer.

- I have also eaten lots of Belgian waffles..Luikse waffle is nice..the one with sugar coating.

- Had french fries with sweet mayonaise and "andalouse"sauce

- Visited the Galleries Saint Hubert - world's first shopping mall.

- Walked the flea market at Place du jeu de Balle.

Antwerp

- lots of diamond shops..yeah, Antwerp is supposed to be one of the cities with most diamonds traded yearly..

However, the city really don't look rich at all.

- it's nothing much, a big shopping street.

Brugge

- A city full with tourists. I can't imagine myself being a local there, cos wherever u look, there are tourists...It's like a

Disneyland.

- Went to a church where there's a case containing a few drops of Jesus Christ's blood.

Here are some pics..

At the Grand Place/Grote Markt) at Brussels..

It's nicer at night...

Me at the Manneken Pis...Believe me, this is not just another peeing boy sculpture...lol...it was crowded by lots of tourists..I am not sure why it is so famous, but I think it's probably the first of all the peeing statues we all see today! It's really small too...

One of the cathedrals in Antwerp...Beautiful isn't it?

Me at the picturesque city of Brugge

Alright..5 more countries to go...:p

Year 2009!

A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!! It's NEWWWW YEARRRRR!!! what happened to 2008?

I was complaining to a friend that I didn't do much in 2008...but she told me, " You did. You came to London!" Haha...yeah..She is right! I guess 2008 has been a significant year in that sense... A HUGE one!

Anyway, like always, year after year, whenever it's new year's season...I always want to write a list of new year's resolutions..and it's always postponed to a few weeks into the new year...I told myself tonight that I have to sit myself down and write the list no matter what...

So, this year, I would like to keep my list practical and achievable..hehe..(learning from past years)..here it is, with hope that I will be able to achieve all of it..or at least 75% of it..:p

RESOLUTIONS FOR 2009.

1. Work hard. Live Life.
2. Eat healthier.
3. Spend more time with my family friends.
4. Travel at least 6 countries.
5. Read minimum of 3 books.
6. Make at least 1 short film.
7. Write at least 1 feature script.
8. Paint 5 paintings.

Now that is out of the way...pheewwwww....Just have to keep the list in mind and work on it.