'I LOVE YOU'

I went back to Penang last Thursday. Bought a bus ticket from Pudu and made my way home. I made the trip home because of my 3rd aunty.

On Friday, during mum's lunch break, mum droved me to the hospital. I was scared and nervous as I was walking into the ward. Then, I saw my ku-ku, cousins and my 3-chim po standing around the bed. I moved closer and I saw my 3-ee..lying there on the bed. Tears were forming and I was trying really hard to appear normal.

She looked at me..like always but this time, she couldn't even smile. I smiled at her..There I stood right beside her...not knowing how to react. I don't know what to say to her. She is lying there in pink, with tubes coming out of her, looking so tired. With the little energy that she has, she asked me, "mummy ka loo kong ar?" or in English, "Mummy told you?" Then, I said, "yea..but no, my sister ka wa kong eh..."

I felt really helpless..I couldn't say anything to her because I was very worried that I would start crying non stop...For the first time, she is not joking or teasing me, instead she looks so drained out and old...

I was fighting myself not to tear by talking about other stuffs..normal stuffs..but it didn't really help. Suddenly, my vision went really blur and I was feeling weak and unbalanced...I turned to my cousin and hug her and told her that I was fainting..
They sat me down at a chair right away. I didn't know why it happened..mayb it's cos of too many emotions at one time...

Visitors were only allowed till 2pm..Doctors said she can drink coconut juice...so, I went to my 3-ee and told her that I will buy her a coconut when I visit her in the evening. On my evening visit, I brought her some fresh coconut juice..she couldn't drink much..just very little..and before I left, I held her hand and I told her, "take care and be strong"..but what I truly wanted to say was "I love you..and you have to be strong...you will be able to fight this". I didn't do it because I didn't want her to feel sad to see me in tears...

The news of my 3-ee diagnosed with a tumor came so sudden..and then, everything else that follows happened so quickly one after another. So, she went for operation and right after that, I was told that her condition is already at a critical stage. All these news came within a week!!

This unfortunate event made me realised something...a saying that is often circulated in emails, "to let the people you love know that you love them before it's too late"...I now know how important it is..

My 3-ee has just been discharged from the hospital. She could eat and walk now...but we are still waiting for the doctor's report...I can't do much but only hope and pray that her condition is sustainable...