Truly Happy at Heart...

I thought I should record this date down..not today as I am typing now, but yesterday, the 11th November. I woke up in the morning like usual, and hopped on a bus to work..everything was ordinary..weather wasn't great either. However, I was feeling truly happy..the sort of happiness you feel when you are in love and that you don't really understand why you are smiling. I was sitting in the bus, looking out from the windows and listening to some music...smiling silly. I paused once in awhile in between those feelings just to question myself why am I feeling sooo...'contented'?

After awhile, I thought to myself...stop analysing..just BE....and I did. I shared what I felt yesterday with a few friends, and I concluded that, maybe it's just the current situation where I am now, I am happy with my job, happy with the time I have for myself, happy with the friends I made, not earning alot but enough to enjoy simple nice things in life..am not chasing anything...

Moments like this don't come everyday..I hope everyone would be able to experience this feeling at least once in their life...oh well..next, I wanna be in love...:p

Innocence of a Child

It's autumn..everywhere is yellow, orange and red...very dreamlike...I love autumn. If only autumn days are as long as those in summer...it would be perfect!

So..I have been around little children for the last two months..from 14 months old to 7 years old...what I have learnt and truly enjoyed from them is their innocence..To see the face of a 3 year old lighted up, and then run to you and hug you close..is the most loving moment you can feel. At least it is for me...The happiness was so pure..

Exchanging conversations with them is very self reflective sometimes...the "why is this..why is that" period of a child is really interesting. At some point, I don't know how to answer them, just have to tell them, the truth that I don't know..

So, what have I been doing the last 2 mths...I have started my French course..it's boring..but I just have to endure n try to learn as much..I have also visited Oxford, Bournemouth and Leamington Spa. Oxford is interesting, Bournemouth is boring and disappointing whilst Leamington seems quiet and nice.

Hope to go somewhere end of year..can't believe I have less than 7 mths in London..got to make the best out of every minute!!!!!!!!

A Great Month of August!

My official last day in Starbucks was in July. So, I took the month of August to travel...it was quite a journey...even though I did it in 4 blocks. It wasn't the type of trip where I do as many in as short a period of time possible. In fact, I would say it's quite luxurious..haha..other than the fact, we walked alot, stayed in hostels and have bread/salami for almost every meal....for
one month!!!! YEAH...I think I have had enough bread, salami and cheese breakfast which would last me for a year!

So, where did I go..chronologically..Budapest, Vienna, Czech Republic, Hamburg, Berlin, Munich/Blackforest and last stop Turkey. Kinda like 3 days in each city. For some, 3 days were a little too long...we sort of finished most of the cities in one n a half day. Of all the cities, I didn't enjoy Budapest and Vienna. Cappadocia in Turkey was really interesting! Istanbul would be memorable as I celebrated my birthday there with 5 other friends..I mean..how often can that happen? It was a good one!! :) That aside, Istanbul felt like home..the weather and people...

I came back to London on the 1st of September...had a holiday withdrawal. sigh...well, it was just money going out.. tho...

My other aspects of life..been thinking alot lately, trying to make the best of my time here. I have just signed up for a french course..Hopefully it will turn out to be a good decision...as it costs me some money..

I have also recently taking chances...one example would be I actually replied to an ad on a website..under the heading looking for friends..LOL...to be honest, I didn't intend to find a friend through a website, I mean there are a lot of weird people out there. I replied to one because of the heading..it was out of pure curiosity and feeling cheeky ..but the reply from the person sounded sane..so I decided to keep in touch...who knows..there are still goodness n nice people out there..will see how this goes..

I am also currently thinking of getting my masters..just for paper qualification sake..but have to do more research in terms of funding...

Autumn is beautiful now in London..temperature is good..enjoy the sun while I can..hehe

The clock is ticking..time if flying ...do my best n hope for the best!

UNTITLED

Across the dark blue sky,
A flash of light so bright,
Like a fallen star,
You came into my life.

From the bottom of my heart...I smile,
Thinking of you I so adore,
Wishing that we'd met earlier,
When there's a chance of something more.

Hiding under a cupid's spell,
I can't help but to wonder,
Because we get along so well,
Could there be a chance of us together?



For you whom I can only dream,
Because of you I am inspired...
At heart I wish you knew.

1 year, 1 month and 3 days....

Yup...It has been that long...since I reached London Heathrow last year with just two luggages...I must admit that this venture must be one of the bravest decisions which I have made in my life for myself...and now I can say, I don't regret it...

I am currently in between jobs, in a less refined phrase..well, m jobless....:( Yups..no income, just outcome...It is a good break from all the different kind of jobs I have been taking on...and FINALLY I am about the enjoy the fruits....:) As much as I am looking forward to it, I am also quite scared of it..looking at my schedules..haha...but it's all good. I haven't really have a day of nothing-to-do day ever since I stopped work, which in a way it's a good thing..I truly enjoy keeping myself occupied and feeling "important"...

So, I am going to travel quite a bit in August which is one of the main reasons I came over to England. After August, one of my resolutions for this year will be accomplished!! woo hoooo....at least 6 countries..:p I am going to be broke too,..this must be the most expensive birthday gift to myself so far in my life!

Nothing really much have happened since my last update..really. I cut my hair just 3 days ago...A haircut in London generally costs about GBP30 to GBP50. I certainly can't afford it...so I went for the GBP5 student cut by the Vidal Sassoon Academy..it has been recommended by quite a few ppl..so I decided to go for it. It is truly just GBP5, but I spent about 3 hours plus sitting on the chair, just for a simple trim n reshape..sigh...well, I guess when you don't pay the price, you pay with your patience. It was good though, I am happy with it.

On other aspects of my life, hmm...well, I went for lunch with a new friend...it's worth mentioning because I had a great lunch company. :) oh well...yeah..I am smitten..I must admit..but I hope it passes....sighhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Recently too, I got a text from a friend saying that a very adored director, Yasmin Ahmad has left us..I was truly shocked by the news..and still is. It is a BIG loss to the film industry in Malaysia and to us who has known her as a friend, we will certainly miss her. Life is way too unexpected...You will never know what comes next...so, cherish today and live your best!! For those whom I have met along the way so far, we met for a reason...you have made a mark in my life..thank you! :)

This pic is taken after two days...the haircut looks much better when I walked out of the place..hehe

Almost A Year...:)

It's HOT!! Yes, I can't believe it myself..saying that in London...although if I say that outloud in a park I would probably screamed at...:p

The days are getting longer..weather getting hotter...it's SUMMER! that also marks my one year in London...it truly flew by, but if I were to sit down and write all the things I did in the last one year, it would make me smile..I had travelled quite a bit and met a lot of nice people..some I believe would be a friend for a long time...

The recent loss of my aunt made me realise that we will leave this world one day! So, while we are still here, make the best out of everyday. I have been working really hard, juggling a few jobs..trying to make as much as I can so that I can see and do more before leaving this country. Some of the things I did in the last two weeks or so include going for "Wicked" the musical which I truly enjoyed, made a road trip to Lake District and a one day trip to Bath, Salisbury and Stonehenge. I have also actively met up with group of strangers and trying to make new friends...

So, what else is keeping me alive or should I say...smiling...:p I wish I can say I met someone special...but unfortunately NO!! But I do meet an almost perfect man...which make me believe that there are still hope out there..!! Lets see...he is hardworking, quite good looking, non-smoker/clubber, wanna build a family, friendly, good dressing sense, loving father...sighhh....

And she has left...for good...

It has been weird the last few days...I tried preparing myself mentally, and yet I couldn't...Everytime my phone receives an sms, I was worried that it's a msg from my mum telling me the bad news..but up to this morning, I never receive any msg from my mum.

I knew they are bringing her home today, Thursday morning in Penang. When I went to bed last night, I was mentally prepared to receive a sms when I wake up this morning. But I did not. So, on the bus to work, I called home to ask. I heard my mum's voice on the other side, "Lu ei 3-ee bo liou"....I didn't know what to say..but just asked if she made it home before leaving us..and mum said, "Yes, she did".."She passed away after about 10 minutes.."

I wrote a poem for her..as I really can't think of anything else which I could do. This poem would be "given" to her by my cousin on my behalf.

My dearest 3-ee,
Am really sad that you've left us,
That I couldn't bid farewell,
That I couldn't remember the last we spoke,
Or the last time I held you close.

I would truly like you to know,
That you will always be remembered,
As the aunt who brought me up,
Whom I shared my secrets with,
Whom I laughed and cried with,
Whom I've loved and will always do.

You will be missed dearly,
Today and every day to come,
In my heart, I will always love you,
For you are my one and only 3-ee.

Rest in peace.

With love, Ah Na.

I can't exactly describe the feeling I am feeling right now..it's a mixture of everything..:( I hope she is in a better place..a place where she is not hurting or in pain anymore...